There is near me a death approaching, a death I am deadly afraid of, for I know it is been surrounding me from since way back then…seeking to kill my conformism, yes because the time is approaching where all of us will be asked what we have done with our lives. My answer would be: actually nothing. I did what everybody else did, I dated, I got married and remarried a couple of times, I produced a child, I got a job, and bought a few TVs and books though the years… I successfully was able to ignore the small still voice inside my heart which now became a river a big cry that makes my stomach turn…
I was able to watch another DVD and a next preaching a next teaching series and documentary drama like the Seoul Train and see my brothers and sister crying for help while with my eyes filled of tears I served myself another diet coke…
The devil has helped me to explain to myself that I cannot do anything, for I am now just too old, or just too poor and was then too young and too poor and too busy, and don’t want to look ridiculous by starting something too big that I wont be able to finish and in the end will accomplish nothing…
Now a voice tells me that I and we and you and them and the others are not a just. And I will never be a just anymore, for inside of me more powerful than a quadrillion of trillions of “N”illions of nuclear reactors is the Spirit of the Living God just waiting to be released , to use my mouth and my body, to use my lips in prayer and my heart that beats everyday for Him, to use my Faith in Him. I have no limitations in Him. I am myself the image of Them, for They created me just like Them. I am the image of my Creator, the One that loves me and wants me and you and he and she and the others to realize how much they are in Him. I wont even make plans and imagine ways to help or where to go and what to do. I can just trust that He will guide me.
Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound
9 comments:
I again insist on discussing Seoul Train over a cup of coffee, or tea?
I know! What a pain and a brat I am!LOL
RJ
Dear RJ :))
It is very flatering that you would want to take me on a date.
But, I don't do the casual date scenario. In my church we (there are exceptions, many)are called to date only if you have intentions to marry.
I actually just recently succumbed to an insistent "friend" to go out, and it was not good for any of us.
I have no plans in the near future to marry again. I still wear my wedding band, and not a lot of men would want to be seen with a "married" woman :))
Blessings
Julia Gilliland
Thats great that you have something burning in your heart for people in desperate need. I believe that burning is God telling you to do something. I believe when you step out, He will will guide. As far as age, it never stopped Moses, Joshua, or Mother Teresa. She said "Seldom are we required to do something great, just small things with great love". There is also an old saying that "a journey begins with the first step". OR in contrast "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". God has given us the talents (matt25:25), and there is an expectation required. Jesus reminds us that "the gate is narrow, and few find it". And "that the harvest is great, but the labors are few". Take the first step, do something(s) small with great love, do it without ceasing. Once enough parts of His body start moving, well...enough talking.
KingCharming
Is it ok, if I call you Julia?
The Bible says that it is better for 2 to be together than 1. Therefore if one falls the other can pull him up. I can relate to the way your church deals with dating. Years ago the more strict baptist churches here were the same way and some still are. As a reader and someone that admires your style, I just want to ask you to consult yourself. Is it really your faith you're following or in a way you're hiding from deception, perhaps you still have feelings for your ex. I just want tell you, I have been through the same thing, only you can tell how much it hurts, and when you'll be ready for newness of life.
Perhaps around Spring time! LOL
RJ
Dear RJ, You can call me Julia :) sure.I know the Bible says that 2 are better than 1. But those 2 dont necessarily have to be spouses because spouses are referred to as 1.
The Bible also says in the new testament that it is better (for a woman) to be single, for if she is married she will have to tender to her husband and take care of his things first.
So that is just a few of the reasons why I decided to remain single. At least for now, as my pastor says I should not be so set in stone like I am sometimes.
In January some of my close friends tried to hook me up with one of their friends...to which I replied NO WAY. So they inivited me to diner at their home, I fell for it, not realizing the guy was going to be there, and when he kissed my face twice as it is a Brazilian costume, I almost puked, it hurt me so much that the one kissing me wasnt my husband.
I got angry at my friends and showed it very clearly. But I have forgiven them too....We kind of laugh about it now.
Do I still have feelings and things of this nature?
I don't know, he was the love of my life, when he entered a room was like the sun when it comes out of the clouds. I loved him much, so much. I maybe never showed how much, still doesnt change the fact that he was mine.
I am not the type that goes from one to another in hopes to "forget" It would not be fair or decent. I don't do that to people.
I am a strong woman. I am hard, but He is the one behind my strenght.
I am finally enjoying my freedom, my own plans, my own script.
I like to do things in a moments notice, I am too independent for my own sake.
I am free as a bird now, and so I want to fly closer to God and not to men. Cahnces are he will be my last.
I am being very clear: I DONT want to talk about this again.
Blessings many
Julia Gilliland
Hey free bird, I'm not sure but it sounds like you are saying marriage is like a prison. And now that your released you can enjoy life again. Your old cell mate must have been pretty mean.
KC
:) he was my best friend and prayer partner. On the contrary, I was the mean one.
Well, he was mean too, everybody was mean and stressed out... LOL...oh well it was then and this is now
Blessings KC
Julia Gilliland
Blessing to you Julia. May all that you have been through deepen your relationship with Jesus. Amen!
KC
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