GODCIDE

                                                                            

I think of mine and I think of humanities crimes against God. What are my reasons? What would I say facing the judge?


• I lived for too many years in the world.

• I was just a regular worldly person till 10 years ago, neither me, nor my parents or grandparents, great grandparents and actually no one knew Him, we got saved in a 2 year span and have no biblical roots.

• I tried.

I did live too many years away from Him, not knowing His way, and not knowing that He lives. And now I feel His attempts on my heart. Now it hurts me when I hurt Him. I feel He wishes one thousand from me and I only come up with one cent and trembling hands. My smallness is embarrassing and unescaping.

My spirit needs desperately a more excellent way and at the same time I feel chained to this brutal force called flesh. At the same time that I love His perfect love I keep on hating. I have more deaths on my back than most serial killers in the end of their careers. I top all of them easily. And He keeps on grabbing on insisting on expecting, He invested everything on "me" and I keep on disappointing Him, on needing salvation from my old ways.

Just like Adam and Eve hid, I hide too. I hide on the Law, I hide on psychology, I hide on simplistically being just a human being. I hide on self preservation.

And others will keep on going with their rituals. And even others will keep on going denying that He exists and that He is God. And you know why? Because it is so hard! Because they don’t want to be like Him, so if He doesn’t exist they can just be left alone to be what they are and to be what they like to be, and to be what they know how to be: F L E S H.

So great and so brutal are mine and humanities crimes committed against God, that I don’t want to rip off my vests but my mind. Free me please from the death of this body, Holy Spirit! Free me please Holy Spirit from any genetic association that I have with my own species.

Thank God I didn’t  just turn into one of those incense burners, or into a rosary repeater, or into one of them that lit candles and say mantras, and wear all white or black or all orange, and shave their heads, and eat just veagan, and perform complicated rituals? That is all so easy, it all exalts the flesh. And they can't see, what I see now.

But instead I chose the Word or the Word chose me, as they say, and the Word speaks to my inner core even with my Bible closed, even in the height of my anger, in the midweek a thousand miles away from church sermons, the Word keeps on living. The Word is not restricted to the exact color candle or animal type blood or exact day of the week for rituals or readings.
The Word is not under any formality or procedure designed by humans on futile attempts to BE something when only He IS everything . The Word is the only One that physically, spiritually, visibly, precisely, infinetely, and in every step condemned and destroyed flesh. The Word cant be shut, can be killed though to this day they keep on trying. And the Word cries for the multitude of my crimes, our crimes against Him and against His creation.


The Word is the One and only way. The Word is God. The Word is Love.