The Bad Day

Not long after Mark and I first got separated I came to spent a few days in my mother's house. Everything was going well and I was getting the rest I so much needed. I was not cooking and cleaning every night, and didnt need to take the 25 minutes drive on RT7 to go back home after work.
I was resting, but inside I was so hurt by Mark's decision to end our marriage, that I didnt feel rested at all. I was completelly worned out.

My daughter after seeing what was happening to me, started questioning marriage: "marriage doesnt really work; so why should I even ever get married?" She kept pressing me and questioning God's absolute truths, but I knew that she was just reacting. She was hurt by this whole thing, she had lost her place as well, her life had been shattered one more time, shaken as much as mine. Questioning was her way of dealing with it all. And my heart was broken, for me and broken for her.

I kept telling myself everyday that I was at the best place I could ever be: my mother's house. Mother's houses have the ability to nourish. I had to remind myself again and again, that I was at the best place I could be for the time being. Then the bad day came.

Without warning a big fight out of the blue broke between my brother and I. I dont even remember what was said back and forth. But ammong some of the things I heard: so if you're not happy get out! I also said the same back at him...But because I was so hurt already I did get out.

I got out of the house and to my car crying. I took off not knowing where to go. I just started driving south going towards Main st. It was a dark and rainny night and my heart was just as dark. I thought of Mark happy as he could be, safe and cozy in our house, planning his new life with his old girlfriend and away from me. Man I have nobody for myself right now.

Driving aimlessly I passed by the old building on West st where All Nations Baptist Church used to be. A small cement building near the library. The church gathered in the basement. In that basement I found Christ. In that basement I got saved. In that basement I had my first bread and my first wine, the Lord's Supper.

In an impulse  I drove to the dark small parking lot in the back of the building. And I sat there, the rain covering my car and the tears covering my face. How could this be happening to me God? And again!?

I cried for a long time there.There was no other place to go. My Father's House! So as I cried and cried and poured out all my misery (LOL) to Him, I started to calm down. I knew who had came to me: The Person of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the Spirit of the Truth that the world doesnt know. Closer than a Brother is Him, how lovely and sweet, how beautiful He is.

Better a million times than my mother's house, is my Father's house. In there I will allways find mercy, salvation, peace and hope.

Jeremiah 17:17 be not a terror to me; you are my hope in the day of evil.
Note: me and my brother are at peace again  : )